I love steak. I really love steak. There are many reasons for loving steak. It's delicious. It's primal in a way that only a slab of bloody meat can be. Unless you're one of those douchetards who likes to your steak well-done (and at that point, you might as well be one of those toothless old hags who chews animal hides to soften them before dyeing), it's quick as hell. And, yeah, knowing how to properly cook steak is great for getting laid. Unless, of course, you're a douchetard who likes your steak well-done because NO ONE wants to fuck a toothless, old, animal hide chewing hag. NO ONE.
I also love steak because it's cheap. Gone are the good old days where a steak dinner was the main event in an expensive evening out. Today, you want a steak, you go to the supermarket, and you get one for something like $5. Or do you? In San Francisco, things are not always that simple.
In the land of the organic, sustainable, local, and keyword-ridden, you might be tempted away from the supermarket steak, especially if you've seen that, like, every seemingly self-respecting restaurant gets its meat from Niman Ranch. You wouldn't be able to avoid seeing that, of course, because, like, every restaurant puts at least a few purveyors on their menu. And, apparently, this has been going on for a while:
"Growth of Niman Ranch is credited to restaurants that list it by name on their menus. From nearly the beginning, Niman was unique among small farms in that it sought to create a consumer product brand. The invention of California Cuisine, and by extension most modern American cuisine, is often attributed to celebrity chef Alice Waters. When Waters opened her iconic Chez Panisse restaurant in 1971, Bill Niman sent her pork for evaluation. Waters agreed to buy pork from Niman, and included both the name and company logo on her menus." ("Niman Ranch", Wikipedia)
So, how much of this is about marketing bullshit, and how much of it is about delicious steak? I decided to find out. Enter "experiment" #3, where I pit Niman Ranch against generic supermarket steak. As always, note the price difference. Also note that I'm getting pretty good at photoshopz. DO NOT note that I do not deserve to even hold the expensive DSLR I got for Christmas. In other words, the Niman Ranch steak is glistening unnaturally because I haven't yet learned how to properly use the flash.
| Niman Ranch New York Steak | Supermarket New York Steak |
 |  |
| $17.99/lb | $5.49/lb |
This "experiment" is even more scientifically dubious than the previous two because there were only 2 subjects, but I couldn't invite the starving barbarian hordes into my home; it just wouldn't do. Our first impressions were a distinct gaminess emanating from the Niman Ranch specimen and no scent whatsoever from the supermarket variety. Had my eyes been closed, it could have been crown molding.
Then I cooked them, trying my best to stay consistent.
Salt and pepper both sides. Sear on one side until it's a lovely brown. Hold with tongs and render some of the side fat until it's golden. Flip and stick into a 450 degree oven. Poke with finger in a few minutes. Decide it's time. Let rest. Cut and admire the perfect medium rare red to pink within.
Here's the kicker, folks. After cooking, the steaks were pretty much indistinguishable, according to both subjects. They had tender parts. They had juicy parts. They had chewy parts. They had fatty parts. Neither was out of this world, but they were both meaty and primal and well-seasoned and tasty. Except that one had a brand that Alice Waters decided to stick on her menu years and years ago. And a price tag to match.
And, oh yeah, the steak got me laid.
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